…including me.
One of the contributing factors to the meltdown of 2009 that led me to pack my bags and travel the world was my frustration with not knowing what I wanted to be when I “grew up.”
I’ve always struggled with that one. I do subscribe to the idea that we can all be what we wanna be when we grow up. However, when asked to consider a scenario where no limitations are involved and I can truly be ANYTHING I wanna be, my answer is indeed something I can’t ever be:
Miss Saigon.
NOT the ill-fated character Kim herself (she ends up dying!) but the Broadway star who plays her on stage.
I love Miss Saigon the Musical. I’ve had the original London recording soundtrack completely and EMPHATICALLY memorized since I was 15 years old. I still sing along to it when I’m driving in the car by myself – belting out the dramatic ballads and crying whilst acting out the scenes.
I know. I’m ridiculous.
But as big of a dreamer as I like to think I am, Broadway star is one thing I will never be.
I can’t sing. I can’t act. I can’t dance. And although Kim’s character doesn’t do any dancing, she still requires grace and a stage presence I don’t have.
Can these things be learned? Of course. But there’s certainly an element of natural talent that’s required and if ya don’t have it – ya don’t have it!
Which brings me to Christie Brinkley.
(Bear with me, I know it’s a big leap.)
Well. Tonight is opening night for Chicago the Musical at the Pantages Theatre in LA. I got to see a preview performance of it last night thanks to my sister and her friend Nalani. Thanks ladies!
I’ve seen the stage production twice before, once here in SoCal and once in Seattle. I like it a lot and it contains some of my favorite Broadway hits of all time (I even love the movie).
But this production was paaaaaainful to watch.
Christie Brinkley headlined the show, playing the lead role of merry murderess Roxie Hart. Do you know who Christie Brinkley is? Yeah. She’s a supermodel. Right? And she’s damn good at that. But one thing she is NOT, is a singer. And she’s definitely not an actress.
Holy crap. I spent most of the show cringing, and feeling so, so sorry for her.
I’m one of those people who roots for the underdog. You know, the stand-up comic who’s bombing on the mic. The fat pimply kid auditioning for American Idol.
And I did – I rooted for her. I wanted her to be good. Great, even! But my, oh my, was I disappointed.
She could not keep rhythm, she missed a lot of notes. And her voice is simply not strong enough to carry across a theater. I have to admit that she nailed the puppet scene, “We both reached for the gun” but it’s because it didn’t require any singing or acting on her part. It was easy, fun choreography and she was great at it. Overall though, it seemed like the whole production – the entire cast and the jazz band / orchestra – had to step it down a notch to help make their star shine. (For those of you who watch the NBC show Smash, think Uma Thurman’s character!)
That said, the ensemble cast was brilliant. Whenever Christie Brinkley was center stage, I found myself watching the dancers in the background instead. One of the better ensembles I’ve seen in a long time. The guy who played out Fred Casely’s part in the trial’s murder re-enactment – oh my gawd hilarious!
And the band. Goodness gracious the band. It takes a distinctively talented group of musicians to keep up with a rhythmless star. How they successfully kept pace with Christie Brinkley’s disjointed tempo is beyond me! Absolute perfection, they were.
I’d say they – the ensemble cast and the orchestra – were the stars of the show.
John O’Hurley was also very, very good though. Best known for his role in Seinfeld and on Dancing With The Stars, he played the smooth-talking lawyer Billy Flynn. Such a good fit for the role. LOVED him.
Ron Orbach was adorable as Amos, Carol Woods was a powerhouse as Mama Morton, and Ryan Lowe killed it as Mary Sunshine. Amra-Faye Wright – who played Velma Kelly – is extremely talented, but I’m not a huge fan of her voice. She can belt it though and her performance was a ton of fun. She’s got moves, man.
The show could’ve been great if only they’d cast Roxie Hart with a REAL talent. People paid good money to see the show and I’m pretty sure most of them left disappointed. Hardly anyone stood up for an ovation, and instead were just trying to leave as fast they could.
Ouch.
Whyyyyyy?! Of all the people in the world to play this role, why Christie Brinkley? Why would anyone cast her? And why would she accept?
On the one hand, I suppose no one in their right mind would pass up the opportunity to play a lead role in a musical. But on the other hand, maybe I’m not in my right mind. Because honestly, if I was ever given the chance to play my dream role in a musical – and I sucked – I don’t think I’d go through with it. I’d have to carry the weight of ruining a perfectly good production, letting down all the people who made it happen, and disappointing paying audiences all over the world.
All I can say now is, it’s a good thing no one ever gave me the chance to live my dream and play Miss Saigon. I woulda pissed off a lot of people!!!