A few months ago, I went on a bit of a rampage over the douchebag cesspool of a dating scene that exists in LA.
Today I have another gripe: the impossible standard of “skinny bitch” beauty we are expected to maintain in this town.
It’s bikini season. And I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I’m no chunky monkey, but I did put on 10% of my body weight while I was in France last year. I haven’t been able to lose it. Nor have I tried. You may remember my fat-jean status during DineLA earlier this year. Or last month’s foie gras bender. Or maybe you’ve read my Yelp reviews and seen that I am a shameless glutton.
I EAT well, what can I say? I LOVE food.
The days of eating whatever the hell I want and never gaining a pound are over. And to be honest, I’m ok with how my body has changed.
I enjoy eating good food more than I enjoy being skinny.
But the result on my physique apparently makes me a “bigger girl” in this town.
A few weeks ago, I went to a little pool party at the W Hotel in Westwood. It was the first time I’d put on a bikini in awhile. Allow me to add that in my 32 years, I have never – repeat, NEVER – felt insecure about my bikini body. So imagine my surprise when I stripped down by the pool and felt like I was the largest girl in sight.
Let me remind you that this is LA. And let me also clarify that I was with a bunch of my girlfriends who are absolutely teeny tiny. Teeny tiny like i used to be. Now, all of a sudden, I’m the fat girl.
Looking around at all the perfectly skinny toned bodies, I turned to one of said teeny tiny friends and started to laugh. “Oh my gawd I look like such a cow next to you.”
The response I usually get: “Oh stop it, you’re being ridiculous” or “You’re crazy, you still look great.”
The response I actually got: “You don’t look like a cow, honey. You look like……a real woman.”
“Bigger girl” to the left“A real woman”? I’m pretty sure that’s LA code for “fat chick.”
But WAIT.
There’s MORE.
Dude named Lenny overheard our conversation and threw in his two cents. What did Lenny have to contribute?
“Girl, don’t you worry! There are lots of guys out there who like bigger girls. Some guys actually like a girl with curves.”
[Insert dumbfounded face]
Are you kidding me?
Who says that to a 110-pound girl?!
I realize I’m not as tiny as I used to be. I’m growing blubber wings. My hips are screaming, “I’m ready to make babies.” I’ve got side boob (and not the sexy kind – the kind that’s just a blob of fat under my armpit). And I have a food baby. Like, all the time.
But “bigger girl”?! Ridiculous.
I’ll be the first to admit that I left the pool that day with a bit of a complex. And some of it still lingers. But at the end of the day, I know I am NOT a big girl.
I just happen to be living in a city that has an absurd standard for skinny.
And I’d be a fool to let it get to me.
I ate a bucket of fried chicken yesterday. And it was gooooood. In fact, it has come to my attention that today is National Fried Chicken Day. Boo yah!!!
Eat that, LA.
———————–
For more of my LA musings:
I absolutely <3 you!! This is why you should move to SF… ridiculous…. enough said!!
Great thing about SF is there isn’t really a bikini season!
I am not gonna lie… the only reason I clicked on this was to see Thy in a bikini
Come visit and I’ll whip you back into shape or at least teach you to kick ass
Really… just eat well (haha really -fried chicken day?), be healthy, and do fun activities that you enjoy. Or just move out of LA and you can be the ‘skinny bitch at the pool’ again.
Honey, flattery will get you everywhere!
But I’m not giving up fried chicken.
Ever.
Thy, you look GREAT!!!!
Thanks Jeri!
This is classic. You’ve been a skinny girl all your life, able to eat whatever you want without any weight consequences. Now that its catching up to you you will find any excuse to maintain the lifestyle you’re used to. I think its lazy. Eating a bucket of fried chicken is not a good thing to eat. For anybody. ever.
Thank you Anonymous, for taking this light-hearted write-up so SERIOUSLY. If you’re that concerned about my laziness, please allow me to assuage your rage. In addition to enjoying my passion for food (all kinds of food – healthy and not-so-healthy), I also spend a lot of time hiking, bicycling and being a ninja. I don’t think anybody has ever called those things lazy. Ever.