I Ate Turtle. And I Feel Awful About it!

(For the record, I didn’t eat that turtle ⇧ I just thought the photo was funny, heh.)

If you knew me back in LA, you probably heard me squeal over the cuteness of my pet turtles at least once. So you may be disgusted to know what I recently did in Saigon.

But first, let me tell you about Pinky and Brain. They are the apples of my eye, these adorable red-eared sliders. I bought them somewhere between Hill and Broadway in LA’s Chinatown (iIm pretty sure illegally) when they both were still small enough to share space on the itty bitty palm of my hand.

I’m pretty sure Pinky has Alzheimer’s, the way his brain re-starts every few hours and he freaks out in a spurt of reckless splashing when he realizes someone has entered the room. If he could talk, I imagine him saying, “Wh-wh-where am I? Who the hell is that? What am I doing in this aquarium? What is this hard shell thing on my back?! Ahhhhh!”

And repeat.

Waking up to this every single day before I went to work always guaranteed a giggle as I started an otherwise agonizing day at the office. It’s ridiculously cute.

ALMOST as cute as Brain’s yoga sessions. Yes, my turtle does yoga. I swear. Not just yoga – he does Bikram yoga. he creeps up out of the water, onto the floating rock in his tank and basks under the heat lamp for hours a day. He lifts his front right leg and stretches it out, does the same thing with his left hind leg, and extends his neck in a perfect pose. And then he switches legs! Cutest. Thing. Ever.

And then when he realizes someone is watching him, he jumps off the rock and into the water to splash around in total chaos, a la Pinky. Ohhhh the joy!

It’s hard to get a good photo but here are a couple. I’m such a proud mama and I miss them to bits!!!

I’m not kidding when I say I’ve spent HOURS doing nothing but staring at them (my kids, as I call them). I find them so entertaining and I love them so, so much. I spoiled them rotten and talked to them everyday. Even my sister, who is my other half in this parenting scheme and currently has sole custody, finds my love for them a bit over-the-top. I actually cried when I said goodbye to them before I left the country.

So what did I do that was so repulsive in Saigon? If you’ve been reading my blog and know how quickly I accept offers to try new things…and foods (gasp!)…then it probably comes as no surprise: I ate a turtle.

It wasn’t the first time. I’d had turtle soup at the famed and brilliant Commander’s Palace in New Orleans a few years ago (insanely delicious, by the way, and one of the finest dining experiences of my life). But that was before I had turtles as pets.

Now’s a different story. It was a couple days before Vietnamese new year, and my uncle was dying for me to try this delicacy – a type of turtle called “ba ba” in the local language.

Here’s the manager bringing us the live, choice turtle. It’s an ugly, snake-head looking thing that doesn’t remind me of my precious kids one bit. And no, I did not witness the slaughter.

Part of the tradition of eating this kind of turtle is drinking its raw blood, mixed with vodka. It’s supposed to be really good for you. At this point, I’m a bit queasy about it, and I reject it – but not before posing for a photo, holding a glass of fresh turtle blood in one hand, a bottle of Ha Noi Vodka in the other.

Here’s a bit of encouragement from my Uncle Hai as he stirs the turtle stew, which is loaded with lemon grass and a very rich flavor.

And here’s the poor turtle’s foot. Which, to be honest, was super delicious. The best part, in fact. The texture was unusual and pleasant, crispy on the outside, and the meat was reeeally tender.

In the end, I did drink the blood. Not that whole glass though! I sipped it out of a shot glass, mixed with vodka. And it actually tasted good.

Does that make me evil? I don’t love my kids any less than I did before. And I would never, ever eat them! Ew!

I’d just be remiss to travel the world and not participate in these unique, cultural experiences. They’re at the very core of what makes traveling so great.

And if you think I love travel, you ought to see me EAT. My passion for food is the only thing that rivals my passion for travel. Check out my old Yelp profile, where I used to write restaurant reviews. Obviously I haven’t written there lately – all my reviews are from 2009, pre-Traveling Thy.

Besides, I’m not in the business of reviewing anything at the moment. I’m just enjoying my two greatest loves: travel and food. And if those two loves bring me a turtle on a platter, so be it.

Nom nom!