Breaking News: I Suck at Dodgeball

Ok so it’s not breaking news. There’s a reason I was always picked last for every possible team sport in PE: I’m a terrible athlete.

I can’t throw. I can’t catch. I run like a girl.

So when my buddy Scotty told me he needed some players for his Dodgeball team, my first reaction was, “Um, don’t look at ME!”

But he told me it was totally recreational – it’s co-ed, they play music in the background, it’s just meant to be for fun.

Alright alright, who am I to turn down an opportunity to have “fun” and do something completely out of my element?

Count me in.

But prepare to lose.

With my astonishingly poor aim and overall uselessness, I helped lead the team to an absolute killing of 0-12.

No joke. We lost every. Single. Game.

And I have the bruises to prove it. “Recreational” my ass. Here I was thinking I was there to have a jolly good time, lah dee dah’ing around the court. And these maniacs were playing to WIN.

There was fire in their eyes, gusto in their wind-ups…and absolutely NO mercy in their throws.

Hard. Core. I was shocked at how hard everyone was chucking these balls – even at the pathetic little scrawny people like myself. I got crazy pelted in the shoulder, calf and even my lower lady bits. Ouch!

It probably didn’t help my team that they call themselves “Target Practice” and their uniform is a T-shirt with a bullseye on it! Haha.

Anyway, I was seriously tempted to sneak out of the gym after the third or fourth game, but I stuck it out for all twelve. Who wants to be the poor sport, right? But the chances of me playing again are very slim. Sorry Scotty!

Sucking at Dodgeball is not quite my idea of fun. Personally, I have more fun sucking at dancing and sucking at singing.